I think I want to start some kind of online service akin to Match or eHarmony that specifically caters to moms. Not necessarily a dating service, but more of a friend-finding service. MomFriendMatch.com?
One of the last times I took B to a reading time at the library before he turned 3, there were two other women there with kids close in age to him. They knew each other and were shooting the breeze in the back of the room while the little kids were gathered around the librarian’s lap, their little eyes transfixed by her book and puppet. I found myself looking at the moms from time-to-time, my jealousy growing a little stronger with each glance. They alternated between laughing quietly and having, what looked like, deeper discussions, but I think what caused the most angst for me was the casual comfortableness they had with each other. As if they had been friends for a while and sincerely enjoyed being around each other. They didn’t get together just because their kids happened to be near to each other in ages or they were part of some mom/baby playdate group. They really wanted to be around each other.
Of course I’m projecting, but this is how my brain interpreted the situation.
When it was all over, we lined up to leave the room and B and I were behind their little group. I eavesdropped on their conversation, simultaneously trying to herd my son out the door while hoping they said something loudly enough or threw a glance or smile my way that would make it easy for me to join their little bubble of camaraderie. Would they even notice me?
I think I eventually injected my way into their conversation somehow and it was extremely awkward and….I don’t know. I’m not really sure what I was hoping for, except that maybe I’d shower them with my “wit” and they’d be like, “this girl is AWESOME! she’d be the perfect addition to our duo,” and I’d chuckle and we’d exchange email addresses or phone numbers or something and playdates would be planned and mom’s-night-out evenings would start happening and I’d have two new friends who wanted to spend time with me as much as I wanted to spend time with them.
None of that happened, of course. After a few awkward exchanges (I’m sure they joked about them later), B and I left the library and I spent the drive home wondering why I’m so weird.
I think what I wish for the most right now is that last part…. a mom friend who wants to spend time with me as much as I want to spend time with her. Someone to meet for coffee or go to see a movie or get dinner occasionally. E doesn’t have a problem with me doing these things from time-to-time and has even expressed a desire that I did them more often. The problem I keep running into, however, is that I have no one with which to do them.
It’s hard to meet new friends when you’re a mom, especially if you’re a mom introvert, as I am. My social awkwardness has grown exponentially since having kids and the times I’ve tried to talk to other moms at parks or groups or whatever the case has been have proven to be extremely uncomfortable at the very least (see section above for an example). Sometimes I leave these encounters wondering if I have a tattoo on my forehead that says, “I am really weird. You do not want to be my friend.”
I just don’t know how to fix this and I get so lonely sometimes. So I’m looking into the startup idea for my mom-friend-match service.
Anyone else interested?